1. Don't let your annoyance show. "Calling someone a control freak, or getting visibly irritated when he leans on you, will only make him think he needs to keep an even closer eye on you," Bernstein says.
And don't even think about trying to discuss the problem: "Forget trying to talk a micromanager out of being one. Even seasoned therapists have trouble convincing the control-obsessed that their behavior might be causing more problems than it's solving."
2. Use reassurance, not recrimination. Take the time before a project begins to get a clear and concrete outline of what your boss wants, when he wants it, and how he wants it done. "Take copious notes," Bernstein says. "There are two reasons for doing this. First, if you look as if you're taking his instructions seriously, he'll worry less about you making 'mistakes.' " And second, if you establish - in writing - a specific, measurable result to be delivered at a specific time, it will come in handy later on when your boss tries to control the process - which of course he will.
3. Give progress reports before he asks for them. "Nothing allays a control freak's fears like excess information," says Bernstein. "Remind him that you are taking the project as seriously as he does."
4. When your boss tries to control your work, ask if this means the end product has changed. This is where you whip out your notes from that initial meeting. "Treat attempts to control the process as requests to change the end product," says Bernstein. "If the ultimate goal isn't affected, why change the process?"
"Needless to say, for this strategy to be effective, you need some history of delivering the goods," he adds. You and your teammates have such a history, right?
5. Keep up the good work. According to Bernstein, if you follow these steps several times - once is not enough - and actually do what you say you're going to do when you say you will do it, your boss will become less worried about your performance and go off to fuss over somebody less responsible.
Meantime, try not to overreact to your wacky boss, Bernstein cautions. "People often respond so viscerally to an over-controlling boss because of their own inner teenager - you know, that voice inside that reacts to overbearing authority with, 'You're not the boss of me,' " he observes. "It's a sort of knee-jerk resistance to arbitrary or unreasonable control." That voice is louder in some folks than in others, he notes, but "I always counsel people not to let their inner teenager make career decisions for them." Noted.
